if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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