he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
