you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
