Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
