you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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