Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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