the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
