I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
