I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
