just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
