I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
