I want to make a zoo with you.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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