im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
