Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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