but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
