grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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