You're completely useless in the revolution.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You need a sexual gate keeper
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
