Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize