I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
