It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
