Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
