Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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