Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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