I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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