I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
