We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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