I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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