Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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