So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
