Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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