I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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