We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
