guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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