How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
