i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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