It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize