My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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