I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize