She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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