My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
