yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
