He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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