I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
