Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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