I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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