I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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