I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize