You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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