Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
