So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize