is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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