Kiss
Puke
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
