you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
