i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
