you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
