yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
