i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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