i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
