eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
