I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
