My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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