apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize