i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
