I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you would pick up someone in the library
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
