I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
