Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
FUCK WHALES
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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